I guess I need to add the consequence to Xander's actions. When we got home and he told me everything it was time for the inevitable. We had to decide on his punishment. He thought "no friends" was a good one. Sorry not gonna fly. Plus it was cold out. So no friends would be too easy. I told Xander that bad words, that were hurtful came out his mouth. And that those words hurt feelings and made someone sad. I said, we need to get rid of the bad in your mouth. He knew what that meant and we went with soap again. It did work for awhile last time.
Xander threw a huge fit this time. He went upstairs and hid under Kenzie's bed as if I couldn't find him. When I went to pull him out, he grabbed the boards to kenz's box spring and held on. Like that was gonna stop me. After I got him out, he went stiff. He wouldn't bend or move. So I picked him up by one wrist and one ankle and carried him into the bathroom, sat him on the sink counter and began the soaping process. This time Xander had a plan. He clasped his teeth and mouth shut in an attempt to keep me out. He should have realized that his barrier would soon be breached and should just give into the inevitable.
I took the bar of Irish Spring soap and wet it. Then put it up Xander's lips. That was easy enough to get through. His teeth did pose a problem. So I preceded to rub the soap back and forth across his teeth. He had this smug look on his face so I decided OK, lets lather it up. I wet my hands and rubbed the soap in his mouth and on his gums and teeth. Still no breech of the teeth. I wasn't in yet!
So I took liquid soap and squirted in the crevice's of his teeth. He wasn't budging. Then it hit me, I grabbed a tooth brush and ran across the bar of soap and then brushed his teeth with it. Foam was everywhere. He looked like he was a mad dog with rabies. At last, the success I was looking for. It got to be too much for him and the mouth went flying open and the tooth brush went in. I scrubbed his tongue with the soap and it seemed to be having the appropriate effect. I then let him rinse and wipe his face off. And we finished our conversation.
I know that some of you reading are probably completely appalled with this technique. Please rest assured that Xander is fine and that no didn't work. He was bad the very next day. So instead of soap, he had to practice sitting still in time out. He had no toys, no TV, and no talking. He asked how will I eat? I told him quietly in the corner with absolutely no talking. If he had a question, he was to raise his hand. Just like in school. This was to last for 1 1/2 hours. He made it about 45 mins then all heck broke loose.
I am truly at my wits end with him. I don't know what else to do. Can we send kids to school in a straight jacket with duct tape over their mouth? How old do they have to be to send them to one of those bootcamps for kids? I am almost to that point. Any suggestions?
6 comments:
That is so sad! I dread the day I have to deal with this. My mom did the dirty mouth with soap thing, it worked! Maybe you just have to do it again and again. Maybe you can give him "extra homework" (you can get it online in a few minutes) since he was wasn't respectful at school. Good luck!
I have to say that I concur with your tactics. It's a shame for Xander that he hasn't learned with the steps you have taken. Now you'll have to find more creative ways to deter his behavior. Might I suggest a black pepper/soap combination? Some parents give their kids the option of soap or pepper... I say use them together! In the meantime we can all brainstorm for more methods. Good luck and have fun with it!
Would he die, if you told him you were coming to school with him ... and if you needed to go and sit in the class, do it! That might not have any effect on him though.
I feel for you. I really have no idea how to help. Consistancy is what people always say but beyond that I am no help. Sorry. I will keep thinking of you though and if I come up with something good I will let you know. I think going to school with him and making it worse than if he were there on his own may be a good idea.
At least he won't have any cavities if he continues with the consequence of his naughty words. I too, like the idea of going to school with him. I'm sure he likes the independence of being there alone but if he can't be trusted to behave on his own then mom/dad will have to be with him. He won't like it when the other kids want to know why his mom is there. How embarrassing.
If he's still riding his scooter you could take that away. Only boys that act/talk properly at school get the priveledge of riding to/from school.
As much as that kid loves TV and DVD's you could ground him from those every day he has a bad report. He would still have his toys etc cause you can't take every thing away. Gotta be a light at the end of the tunnel you know. Or ground him from some other thing he really really likes.
I did talk to his teacher about coming with him but, she doesn't feel that would work with him. I did give her permission to be very stern with him. I also was thinking that she could send him to the office and he would have to call me. And then I could come sit with him then.
Post a Comment